Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
