She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
