You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
