No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
