the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Who died my cat blue again?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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