Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize