I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
