areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
