Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
