I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
