I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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