well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
