I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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