Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I will die if light touches me.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
