I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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