it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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