Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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