i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
