I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
