I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
