I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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