Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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