if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize