Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
