My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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