I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
