he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
