glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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