Small penises have feelings too.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
