there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think your dad took our porno
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
