your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
