can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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