a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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