bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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