i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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