His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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