my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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