Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
