Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
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Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
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I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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