I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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