If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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