Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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