Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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