he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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