Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
