The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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