Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
