She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize