last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
