he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize