bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
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You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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