I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
