perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
