week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You can't just leave with hair like that
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
