why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
