All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
